what will you do in serious situation like this? plz read and answer?
what to say when talking nasty
There is a lady at work who I used to be friendly with her and she is around 45 and I used to ask her about her experience.
I found her not very bright or intelligent but her manager is her bf so he is helping her. I’m new in this department and she sits next to me so in lunch time she told me nasty things about everyone including the head of the department. At that point I realized if she is talking nasty about them I’m sure she will talk about me.
Another colleague came to me yesterday her name is pamela. And she looked at me very angry and said you r talking behind me and u said blah blah shit about me.
I looked at michelle and didn’t say a word. Later I asked michelle excuse me why the fuck did u say to her I’m talking about her when it is u who is talking about her. Michelle said this pamela is shit and don’t believe her. I see pamela and michelle are close friends laughing and talking. However, michelle talks extreme nasty about her.
I’m extremely shocked she might go and talk to even senior mgmt and tell them I talk nasty about them when it is she who did it. I’m only new nearly couple of months and I have 2 degrees so may be she is jealous but I seriously need to stop this shit. How can you if u were in my place tackle the issue? And after that happened I tried to distance myself from her but she is coming near me and talks nasty about ppl again. What can I do?
7 Responses to “what will you do in serious situation like this? plz read and answer?”
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Document everything. Description of the incidents, dates, people involved, and how you handled the situation. Secondly, do not talk to this lady anymore. Soon everyone will know that you are not guilty of the gossip that you have been accused of. Thirdly, when she approaches you and wants to discuss anything that is not work related, directly, professionally and calmly remark that your not interested in a discussion about people’s private lives and that you would appreciate her respecting your boundaries. Smile inside, calmly knowing that you just called her out, shocking her, as well as show her that you are not someone who she is going to be able to bully or manipulate. Be prepared for her to lash back by gossiping about you to everyone. Simply ignore it, roll your eyes and find the whole thing humorous because you know her stories are not true and this level of confidence will indicate this to the other co-workers as well. Trust me, everyone knows how this lady is and will be jumping at the bit to snub her in this manner as well. Remember though, the temptation to retaliate by talking smack on her when the table turn will be strong, you mustn’t do this, for then you would be no better than her.
tell ur superiour
That’s terrible! I can only think of three options and don’t know which one would be the best for you.
1. Stay quiet and see how things go.
2. Talk to senior management or someone from HR.
3. Find another job.
Good luck!
meet her in the bathroom and pull knife out and tell her your going to kill her if she doesn’t stop?
beat her ass?
get her fired?
record her conversations and then when she talks about someone to you Expose her to everyone in the office and play the recording or taking to the big wigs?
drama sux trying to keep to yourself until your sure you can trust people.
Do not make close friends at work. Endear yourself to the manager by doing more than is expected of you. Tell the gossipers that you don’t talk about other people, and you don’t want to hear any gossip about others either. Don’t tell them any intimate details about your life. Talk about the weather and other things that mean very little. When they sit next to you, excuse yourself and tell them that you have something else to do. As time goes on, you will learn who to trust. Generally, it is not someone in your department that might be in a competitive position with you. I try to avoid office politics at all cost.
This is a challenge. Unfortunately there are always people who like to gossip and spread rumors, and by being around them you do open yourself to be a part of that. On the other hand rejecting the person may also have negative consequences because she may use the things you have already told her against you just because she is hurt. Therefore my suggestion, is to be polite and keep your relationship strictly professional. Other people must be aware that she likes to talk about others and if that is the case, by you treating your colleagues with respect and distancing yourself from her you will be able to save the relationship you have with your other co-workers. Remember as far as the upper management is concerned they have to have some ground to dismiss you and if you starting right now keep yourself away from any craziness, it will all be ok.
Best of luck
you are absolutely right. she’s jealous and on some unconscious level this is how her manipulation manifests. tough to say if she’ll ever change. seems like a child within. i’d explain this whole situation to your superior if i were you. be assertive about this. truth is on your side. stop this women in her tracks.
take care of yourself